


Oh, Darling

by FarFromSummer



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (he's not as innocent as he looks), Break Up, Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Hux is in denial, I saw a headcannon somewhere that Ben is short for Obi-Wan and went with it, M/M, Makeup, NoChill!Taka, Phasma is the friend we all deserve, PowerPoint Presentations of Seduction, hitaka, super ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarFromSummer/pseuds/FarFromSummer
Summary: The gang help Hux win back Mitaka.





	

Hux brought his fist up to the door for the third time, urging himself to knock and finally face whatever would come. Assuming the corridor was deserted at this hour, he jumped at the sound of a snort echoing through the static of a vocoder. Turning on his heel, he glared at his co-commander.

“He knows you’re here. You’ve only been pacing outside his door for the last fifteen minutes,”

For someone who was currently wearing a mask, Kylo exuded smugness and a hint of a shit-eating grin a little too readily for Hux’s liking.

“And what are you doing stalking the corridors at this time, Benjamin?” he brushed him off airily.

“It’s Obi-W-, Kylo. It’s _Kylo_. And that’s none of your business,”

Hux snorted.

“Well if if that’s the case, feel free to get back to playing with your imaginary friends, or whatever it is you do when you’re not being a thorn in my side,”

“For the last time, Hux, the Knights of Ren _do_ exist. The reason nobody’s ever met them is because they live in a different star system. Besides,” he continued slyly, “shouldn’t you focus on begging your subordinate to take you back?”

Hux stiffened.

“Not that this is any of your concern, Ren, but this is just a simple misunderstanding and the Lieutenant and I certainly haven’t _broken up_ ,”

He was about to continue when the hiss of the opening door caught the two men by surprise. Mitaka emerged from inside and leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sir?” he gazed at the redhead with an eyebrow raised expectantly.

“Ah… Phel….” Hux swallowed nervously before continuing “I was passing by this part of the ship and thought to stop by.”

“Actually it’s a good thing you’re here,”

“It is?” Hux blurted out, pleasantly surprised. Perhaps Mitaka had missed him. Almost as much as….

“Yes, I meant to drop by your quarters to return some of the things you left in mine. Seeing as you’re here, you could just take them with you now,” at that, the smaller man ducked back into the room, leaving Hux standing dumbly in the corridor.

Standing off to the side, Kylo had thought he would enjoy watching Hux’s humiliation. Cringing instead at the awkward interaction, he cleared his throat and mumbled something about his Knights needing him before making a his getaway.

Mitaka returned carrying a box filled with Hux’s personal items.

“This should be everything. Let me know if anything’s missing. See you on the bridge, Sir,”

Mitaka dropped the box into Hux’s arms unceremoniously before returning inside. Hux could only look on incredulously as he was faced with a closed door once again. He wasn’t sure whether he should be more perplexed by the fact that Mitaka had just dumped him, or the fact that _Ren_ of all people had known before him.

* * *

Hux surveyed the three other people in the conference room, each of them glancing at each other curiously. He stood tall and cleared his throat before commencing.

“You’re probably wondering why I called you all here today,”

“You needed to get together an emergency War Council for the upcoming Resistance infiltration?” ventured Phasma.

“The what? No, it's much more important than that,” Hux dismissed the issue with a wave of his hand, “it turns out Mitaka was actually serious about breaking up with me and I’ve decided to form a ‘Win Back Mitaka’ taskforce. Phasma, I chose you for the strength and quick-wittedness you’ve shown in battle. Thanisson, as Mitaka’s best friend, you’re our ‘man on the inside’, as it were. Ren-”

“You require my mastery of the Force,”

“-no one else was free to take minutes,”

“There are over a thousand other people on this ship!” sputtered Kylo.

“And they all have actual jobs to do,” Hux countered, “now, does anyone have any suggestions?”

“Have you tried sitting down and talking to him?” Phasma suggested.

“No I don’t think that would work. I’m not even sure what to say to him,” sighed Hux.

“I’ll Force-choke him again,” piped up Kylo, a little too eagerly, “this time you could heroically run in and save him.”

“Absolutely not! If you so much as think of touching him again, I will-”

“Throw me out of the nearest airlock,” Kylo recited, rolling his eyes.

“Cancel the next shipment of your favourite conditioner,” Phasma added.

“Remove the decals from your command shuttle,” muttered Thanisson

“He said he’d do that?” Kylo whispered to himself, shocked by the extent of Hux’s cruelty.

“With all due respect, Lord Ren,” reasoned Thanisson, “given the nature of Anakin Skywalker’s death, perhaps it wasn’t wise to put the flame decals so close the sticker of his helmet?”

“Might we get back to the matter at hand?” seethed Hux.

“Didn’t Dopheld tell you why he wanted to break up with you?” questioned a bored Phasma.

Hux shifted uncomfortably.

“Well. He mentioned something about feeling like he wasn’t a priority.”

“Sir, do you think he felt like you were neglecting him because of your work?” asked Thanisson, relieved that they were finally getting somewhere.

“I suppose so. I admit, my mind was elsewhere during the entire the thing,”

Kylo snorted.

“Trust you to neglect being present for your own breakup,”

Hux glared at the Force user before continuing.

“Not only was I present,” he huffed “I even agreed to fit him in for a holocall during what was an exceedingly busy week,”

Kylo roared with laughter. Underneath the helmet tears were threatening to stream down his face. He could barely get out what he was about to say next.

“You’re telling me that you actually _scheduled_ the disastrous end of your relationship, like it was just another staff meeting?”

“I think what Lord Ren might be trying to say is that the Lieutenant may have seen the entire thing as quite…. impersonal,” remarked Phasma, eager to keep Hux from wringing Kylo’s neck.

“He never mentioned it bothering him before,” said Hux defensively.

“Sir, maybe you should do something to show him how much you appreciate him? Like a grand gesture, perhaps?” suggested the Petty Officer.

“General” Phasma responded warily, “from what I know of Lieutenant Mitaka, he seems like the type to value his privacy. Maybe something quiet and intimate would suit him better?”

Hux pondered this.

“Thanisson, we will go with your suggestion. It it’s true that Dopheld simply feels underappreciated, then a grand gesture will surely convince him of how I feel. In fact, I think I have the perfect thing in mind”

* * *

To say that the plan had been a failure would be akin to claiming that the Resistance were a little misguided in their ideology. Instead of reacting with delight as Hux had hoped, Mitaka had entered the room in a state of annoyance at being called away in his recreation hours. This then changed to abject horror when he caught sight of what several other officers were snickering at.

Hux had prepared most of the presentation himself. He had begun with a slide on various graphs showing Mitaka’s good qualities, including a pie chart showing a personality makeup of ‘reliability’, ‘intelligence’ and ‘good posture’. He then followed with a rousing speech about Mitaka’s work ethic. By the time the slide depicting a recreation of Kylo choking him had shown up to coordinate with the section of the speech praising his tenacity, Mitaka had left the room with an odd look on his face. Mere minutes later there was an power outage in that quadrant of the ship, cutting the presentation short and baffling the technicians who had confirmed only a day before that the sector was in optimal operating conditions.

“Hux, your lieutenant is ferocious,” stated Kylo, surveying the damage reports the next day.

“Isn’t he just?” gushed the General.

He had woken up this morning to find out that operations on another sector of the ship would be stalled indefinitely as several crew members (no doubt the ones that had seen the surprise) had been admitted to the medbay with injuries none of them could remember sustaining. Phasma discovered that she too would be understaffed after receiving a report confirming the successful reconditioning of a group of stormtroopers (possibly also present), despite not scheduling any appointments with the division in the past few days. Although he should have been furious at Mitaka’s deliberate upheaval of the ship’s schedule, Hux had to appreciate the calculated, succinct manner he employed to send a message.

The Galaxy’s Greatest Tactician turned to his taskforce.

“Well, if this didn’t work, what am I supposed to do now?”

“Sir, maybe you should-” Thanisson began carefully.

“If you’re going to tell me to give up, you can leave now,” interrupted the General with a cold glare, ”the rest of you, I expect to form a plan as quickly as possible to give us enough time to act.”

Kylo sighed indignantly, frustrated with his co-commander’s stubbornness. Yet again, it was clear to everyone but the man himself that Mitaka had moved on and whatever fool’s errand Hux had planned to take them on _was not going to work_.

“Why are you trying so hard, anyway?”

“Lord Ren, I don’t think this is this is appropriate,” cautioned Phasma, trying to get a hold of the situation as Kylo continued defiantly.

“Just let it go, Hux. It’s not like you cared enough about him to begin with,”

Hux’s pained expression, along with Phasma’s glare, silenced Kylo immediately. With a loud sigh, Hux sank into the nearest seat and regarded the others.

“Ren’s right. I should have noticed that Dopheld was unhappy instead of letting my pride get in the way and pretending things were fine. It’s time to stop this. I’ve already wasted enough of your time and it’s clear that nothing is going to work,”

Phasma huffed at the excess of drama.

“That’s enough!” she boomed, turning to the Force-user, “Lord Ren, you’re going to apologise to the General,”

“Sorry,” mumbled the Knight, glancing nervously at Phasma.

Satisfied with the sincerity of Kylo’s apology, she then faced Thanisson.

“Petty Officer, do whatever you can to get Lieutenant Mitaka here. Don’t tell him Hux is here, just get him to come,”

Thanisson nodded quickly before running off. Finally, with her face softening a fraction, she turned to Hux.

“General, you’re going to stop wallowing in self-pity and talk to the Lieutenant. Tell him what he means to you. Why you did all this in the first place. I truly think he’ll want to hear it,”

Hux nodded, although his nervousness was palpable. While he appreciated the others’ attempts at psyching him up to talk to Mitaka, once he heard footsteps approaching the door he shot them a panicked glance. At the sound of the door opening, Phasma squeezed Hux’s shoulder lightly before leading Kylo and Thanisson away, leaving the General alone with Mitaka.

“Oh, Armitage,” Mitaka murmured, shaking his head with a soft smile as he looked down at the seated General, “what are you doing?”

Hux peered up at the Lieutenant and tried to ignore his deafening heartbeat.

“Take a seat, Phel. There are some things you need to hear,”

* * *

 “Nuh uh,” murmured Hux, voice still thick with sleep as he curled an arm around Mitaka to keep him from getting up.

“Tage,” admonished the younger man, chuckling lightly, “I want to make the mess hall’s breakfast service before it runs out,”

“I’ll get a droid to deliver it. After what you put me through, I'm never letting you out of my sight,”

Mitaka relented, shuffling back against the taller man’s chest. Hux’s playful smirk flattened somewhat as he regarded his lover “I really thought you were never going to take me back,”

“I couldn’t just keep letting you off the hook, Tage,” replied Mitaka softly, “I needed to make you squirm so you’d finally realise what this meant to you.”

“Vicious thing,” sighed the redhead fondly. He pecked Mitaka on the lips before reaching over to call a delivery droid. Force knew how lethal the man could be when he was hungry.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't think my first contribution to this ship would be a self-indulgent crackfic, but, in the spirit of No Shame November, here we are. Feel free to let me know what you think!
> 
> My tumblr: [@farfromsummer](http://farfromsummer.tumblr.com/)


End file.
